Michael O'Hare - 7th Anniversary Tribute

Robert Michael O'Hare, Jr.
"The One Who Was"
May 6, 1952 - September 28, 2012

A year ago, I was introduced to 'Babylon 5,' and since then, I'd been hooked into it. I'd previously mentioned that I've been particularly drawn to one of the actors, Michael O'Hare, who was on the show for season one. Some of you are probably starting to feel tired of me always posting about my experience upon learning about Michael O'Hare and the reasons behind the connection I felt to him. I apologize in advance if it's making anyone feel that way. I try not to blow my own horn and keep talking about the same things every time. I only want to share how I feel about Michael O'Hare because I believe I understand what it was like for him to be different.
After it was discovered that I had Autism Spectrum Disorder, we--my parents, my sisters and I--went through many hardships regarding my autism. But, I think I had it the hardest because I was the one living with a learning challenge. Wherever I went, it went with me. Like a shadow. Only I would wish I could make that shadow go away and have the shadow that I could physically see. That isn't too bad. Much better than that other shadow that always made me feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Like Michael O'Hare, I kept my autism a secret after I moved to the US from Mexico, where I was born and raised. Before I moved, everyone in my neighborhood, my community, and the church I went to knew about my autism. And some people didn't treat me very kindly because of it. I was the black sheep. That was why I kept my autism a secret from everyone outside my family, except a few I could trust. What I have isn't a mental illness, but I know what it's like to be stigmatized for something that people are afraid of or don't understand. It gives them a reason to treat people with physical, mental, developmental, or intellectual challenges like outsiders. To them, we are broken. Disabled. Imperfect.
But throughout my life, I've heard amazing stories of people with these types of challenges who've proven that they can do hard things. They can overcome their hardships instead of letting them run their lives. They allowed their trials to transform them into the resilient individuals they came to be. I'm more than 100% positive that everyone knows Michael O'Hare is one of these amazing people.
When he and J. Michael Straczynski (JMS) became aware that O'Hare was having serious psychological issues, JMS offered to shut down 'Babylon 5.' He was willing to do that so that O'Hare could get the help he needed. But like Commander Sinclair, he put the needs of others before his by asking JMS to help him finish the first season and have his character written out. Had O'Hare not made that sacrifice, 'Babylon 5' probably would've never gotten its five seasons as planned. And people would've lost their jobs. Though he rarely appeared in films or television after he left the show, he managed to seek & receive treatment for his illness while continuing with his acting career until he retired. Though he struggled and went through many hardships regarding his mental illness, he made it through with the help & support from his family, his friends, and his fans. Though he would be married to his wife, Ruth, for only 14 years and be a father to his daughter for perhaps a short time, he managed to achieve one of the most important goals in life--having a family. Though he retired early from acting & disappeared from the public until his passing seven years ago today, fans still remember him as Commander Sinclair on 'Babylon 5.'
There are many lessons that Michael O'Hare taught us, that we all could learn and apply to ourselves. One I can think of is, sometimes life doesn't go the way we plan. There are always curveballs thrown at us. But, we don't have to live in bitterness over it. We can grow from our experiences and enjoy the happiness that life still brings. Another lesson to learn is, whatever we're going through doesn't define who we are. It can help us learn, grow, and become who we will be. Anything we struggle with can be dealt with. It doesn't have to be something we ought to be ashamed of.
After hearing his story, I was amazed by the courage and resilience that Michael O'Hare had shown throughout his life. It inspired me so much that I wrote a reflection essay about him and what I'd learned from his experiences. I'm sure that others have felt the same way after reading about him. He endured some of the darkest times anyone could go through, some that are hard for us to imagine, yet he persevered like a ship fighting against the waves in a storm. Not very many people with mental health issues have that kind of courage like he did. Some cannot handle the pain anymore because they don't think they're strong enough for it. Because they believe there's no more hope for them, they conclude the only solution to their problems is taking their own lives. If he felt like he couldn't go on living with the hallucinations & paranoia anymore, Michael O'Hare would've ended his own life if he chose to. However, he decided to live and enjoy even the smallest things in life while seeking help for his illness. As JMS said, Michael O'Hare held on by his fingernails. And he fought until the end.
May God bless Michael O'Hare for his courage and compassion. May God continue to bless him.
"Great people are made, not born. It's who has the courage to make the decision to go for what is tough to go for, and for what there are less materialistic rewards."
~Michael O'Hare

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