Thoughts On My Graduation

On Tuesday, July 18, 2017, I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English – Creative Writing from Brigham Young University – Idaho. It is an accomplishment that I’m proud of. I’m proud to have achieved this after all the hard work, sacrifice, effort and passion that were put into it. Since I was a little girl, going to college and graduating from college has been one of my dreams. Not just because my sisters, my Mom and my Grandma have but because I’ve had such a strong desire to learn and be educated, especially about the things that I sought to learn about. It was not an easy thing for me to achieve, which is something that everyone who’s attended college is aware of. But for me personally, it was a huge challenge and definitely NOT an easy thing to accomplish.

Not everyone I know is aware of this about me, but I’m ready to share it and hope that by doing so, others in similar circumstances will be encouraged to believe in themselves and their dreams. When I was five years old, I was diagnosed with high functioning autism. It changed my family’s life and mine forever because of the challenges that come with it. My parents had to learn how to raise a daughter with a learning disability and all of my sisters had to learn how to share the amount of attention they got from their parents with a sister who needed some special care. It wasn’t easy for my family to deal with a child who had unusual behaviors. They did not like having to drive three hours to El Paso, Texas and three hours back in silence, because of my sensitive hearing, so I could go to my speech therapy appointments where I could get the help I needed to develop my social and communication skills. The kind of help I needed couldn’t be found in Mexico, where I was born and raised. That is just one example of many. 

Growing up as a little girl with autism was never an easy thing for me. Other kids my age or close to my age would make fun of me, tease me, call me mean names like ‘retard, stupid, dummy,’ and exclude me or ditch me. People I loved and thought they loved me would treat me poorly. As a little girl with autism, I did not understand their behavior. It wasn’t until I was in my teens and beyond when I began to see and when I recognized their actions. I was very hurt. I felt like I wasn’t good enough or important to anyone. It broke my parents’ hearts to see a child of their own getting treated so poorly by others who wouldn’t see past her learning challenge. It also broke my heart that I wasn’t normal, that I was one of the people who had autism and wasn’t considered good enough, smart enough, “cool enough” to be accepted and a part of the group. 

Some of the teachers I had in grade school did not know how to work with a child like me because they had no experience working with children with special needs. They wanted all the students to fit into the same mold, the same box. They even doubted that I would succeed in school because of my autism. Learning some of the basic subjects in school was very challenging for me. 

I struggled learning math, probably the most difficult subject in grade school. In 1st grade, I was very lost because there were a lot of numbers. I could memorize a few of the simple equations like 1+1=2, 2+2=4, or 5-5=0, but I didn’t understand how to calculate in my mind instead of using a calculator. As a result of my struggling, I had a hard time paying attention in class, ended up hating math a lot and wanted nothing to do with it. I also ended up hating school and not wanting to go anymore. It was so hard. Not just the subjects but also trying to fit in, to belong, to make and have friends and be a part of the group. My going through those challenges made me feel like I couldn’t do any of those things that anyone without autism could do. I didn’t think I’d ever belong. I didn’t think I could learn. I didn’t think I would finish high school, go to college and get a degree because I had autism.

                

During my elementary school struggles, my parents got me a private tutor to first go with me to school and when that didn’t work well, took me out of school and home schooled me with my tutor. She was wonderful. She helped me progress and showed me I could learn. She, along with my amazing speech therapist, opened the doors and showed me a world of possibilities, even for people who learn and think differently, who think in pictures. 

 It didn’t take very long for me to realize how important education was and that there were still other things that I was very good at, like art, spelling, writing and sports. There were also other things that I enjoyed learning about, like animals. As I looked at the skills that I had, my desire to go to college and graduate returned. I wanted to prove to myself and to those who didn’t think I would make it to college that I could do it. So I went back to grade school, finished 6th grade, and had the first of my graduations. I was happy about that. 

There are some more changes I went through that helped me become the person I am today. When I was 14 and had already started 9th grade, I had to move to northern California with my sister and her husband due to the drug violence that was happening in Mexico. It was one of the biggest changes I experienced, especially for a 14-year-old girl with a learning challenge. It was the first time being away from home and my parents. Although I had traveled to the United States before, living there was quite a culture shock for me because it was nothing like Mexico. I didn’t have my mom with me or bring my room with me. My speech therapist, who was more than a speech therapist and been on this journey with me for nine years, wasn’t going to be there with me. There were none of the people and places that I grew up knowing and could go to. There were different holidays when I had school off than I did in Mexico. California was completely different from where I was born and had been raised to this point in my life. 

However, while I was living there, I came to recognize the blessings of living in a different place. One of those blessings was getting the help I needed from the school I attended, Rancho Cotate High School. I got help in understanding the subjects I had trouble with, like math. Math became one of my favorite subjects when I finally understood how to solve math problems, thanks to a special teacher who was very patient with me and helped me learn. When I understood the subjects I struggled with, I became a dedicated student and worked very hard in all of my classes. For my hard work and good grades, I earned a 4.0 GPA and received an award for it in my freshman year. I also earned a place on the principal’s list my sophomore year and lettered.

Some of the other blessings were feeling welcomed in school and the church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) I went to with my sister and brother-in-law in California. I found lasting friendships with people who actually loved and cared about me, thought I was a great person, included me and pushed me to go the distance out of their believing in me. With all of those blessings, I felt like I was important and good enough. I could do anything. They helped me so I was able to prove to myself that I was a smart, fun, hard-working person.

However, the greatest blessing was from my oldest sister and brother-in-law. They opened their home, took me in and were so good to me. Welcomed me. Encouraged me. Loved me. Helped me with homework, school activities, early morning seminary and so much more. Thank you. 

After my sophomore year ended at Rancho Cotate, I moved to Utah with my parents to the Provo area. The drug violence had gotten worse in Mexico and my parents moved to Utah where it was safe and had a second home. Because we were all residing in the United States now, they felt I should live with them. It was not an easy change for me to go through again after I had physically and emotionally settled in California. I wanted to finish high school there. But, I had to move to Utah and so went through the same process I did when I moved in with my sister and brother-in-law. Adjustments were slowly made to the environment, the culture, the church and the school I went to in Utah, Timpview High School.  

Eventually, I was able to make new friends and discover on my own that no matter where I go, I would always have the memories of the good people I know with me even in hard times. Also, I remained a hard-working student in Utah and passed all of my classes like I did while I was living in California. The classes I took were the type of classes a student without any learning challenge would be taking known as mainstream classes. I did have some accommodations to help me if necessary but tried not to use them. They were harder than the classes I took at Rancho Cotate, but I worked very hard and passed all of them. In my senior year, I received one of three Thunderbird Awards given for being an outstanding dedicated student to my classes and the good grades I earned because of it. I also had the blessing of graduating with honors from Timpview, which was something I did not expect to happen. I showed to myself and to others that I could do well in the normal classes that students without learning challenges would take. I could do anything I set my mind to, including hard things. A lesson that soon would be put to the test.

In Fall 2012, I moved to Rexburg, ID to study at Brigham Young University-Idaho. BYU-I was my first choice university. My parents suggested a school closer to home in Provo or Mexico but I wanted to go to BYU-I. Again, I went through the same process as I did when I moved to California and Utah, except it was a little harder. I didn’t have my family with me when I moved to Idaho for college and I was in a place that I had never been to and wasn’t familiar with. I had to find my way around while I was living there. There were times I wondered if dropping out of college would be the right choice for me because I didn’t have a solid idea on what type of major I wanted to study and some of the classes I took were very hard and very overwhelming for me. They were very discouraging and made me want to give up on them, including the ones that I was required to take. But with my faith in God, the accommodations I had and used for my classes, along with the support and encouragement from my family, friends, roommates, mentors and teachers, I was able to work harder in those classes and pass them, including one class I had to retake to get a better grade.  

As a reward for my hard work in my classes, I received my Associate of Science degree in General Studies after my first two years at BYU-Idaho. And now a few years after that, I have now graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English – Creative Writing, my chosen major. Looking back at how much I’ve accomplished, I realize that no matter how hard things got, overcoming the obstacles in our daily lives is possible, even if it takes a long time to do so. I’ve endured a lot of challenges during my school years and have come out a strong, independent young woman who has proven to myself, the world, including the ones who didn’t think I would succeed, that I could do hard things, that I could succeed, even with my autism. I know there will be more challenges ahead and I will face them and get through them. 

What I want for everyone who reads this post is to know that no matter what obstacles they go through, it is possible to overcome them. AND whether their children have a disability or not, I encourage parents to support their children and help them in any way they can to get their children where they need or want to be. Show them by actions and words that we are all in this together. Loving and helping others to rise up, helps us to rise up too. We all carry the potential to create our own destinies, our own futures, and our own successes, sometimes we just need a little extra help to get off the ground. Thanks to all who have helped me on my path this far.