Don't Judge By People's Covers - An Essay by Micaela Jones at Brigham Young University - Idaho (June 2015)
What is gossip?
In the dictionary, it is defined as a casual conversation about other people
that typically involves details that aren’t confirmed as being true or false.
But, what does gossip mean to everybody? Is it an entertainment of some sort?
The world would say ‘yes’ since there are numerous people who enjoy lies or
rumors more than the truth, whether it comes on television, the Internet, or
magazines. Even though it’s some kind of entertainment for people, why do they
gossip? How do they do it?
Studies
have shown that it is one of the ways of forming a close relationship with the
other person, which could also link to fitting in by saying something negative
about someone else, the third person. Focusing on the positives is less
entertaining than the negatives because this is one way of judging the other
person. What are the other reasons? A feeling of threat, jealousy, and a desire
for power and attention. Does accidentally count as a reason for gossiping?
Absolutely!
Gossiping
could also be a way of judging the other person. According to the dictionary,
judgment is the ability to come to sensible conclusions, but there are other
meanings for that term. It is an opinion, a decision of a court, a monetary
obligation that’s awarded by a court, a recorded document of the judgment, and
finally, a calamity that is viewed as a punishment. So, why do people do this?
Sometimes, people like to judge others to be what they believe them to be,
which can be very harsh.
Think of the
Duggar family. Recently, word broke out that Josh Duggar, the oldest son of Jim
Bob and Michelle, had touched the underage girls in places where they were not
to be touched when he was a teenager. The moment the secret got out, it soon
became an issue that would appear on the media, becoming a good target for
gossip since the Duggars have been known to be very good and devout Christians.
What made it more scandalous were the bigger details because four of the girls
were Josh’s sisters.
For
a really long time, the secret was kept private for a while between family
members and friends among the Duggar family because it was a very sensitive
situation to them. Jim Bob and Michelle had done everything to help their son
overcome his trials after he confessed what he did. He went to a Christian
counseling program and performed manual labor, which resulted in him coming
back as a different person. Upon his return, Josh, his parents and an elder of
their church spoke to the police about the incident while managing to keep it
quiet until 2006. After an anonymous person sent an email about the incident,
that was when the scandal broke out.
It was one of the most
difficult times for the Duggars to go through because they were thrown at a lot
of harsh judgments from other people, including those they did not know. One
person claimed that Jim Bob should have contacted the police about the incident
the moment his son told him. Others called them hypocrites because on TV they
seemed like a perfect family while they did some wrongdoings off the screen.
Lots of stores and other public buildings pulled down ads from the show and
reruns were only on television, still in the process of deciding whether to
cancel the show or not, until recently it was. However, the Duggars somehow
remained strong because they had great faith in the Lord that everything would
be all right. Jim Bob and Michelle hoped and are still hoping that the world
would recognize that they and their children are not perfect, no matter how
much they seem to be on television.
It
is sad to hear that a once seemingly perfect family was never perfect on TV,
but were they like that their whole lives? Did each and every one of the
Duggars live a life where they never made a mistake? They never did, but what
about us who aren’t the Duggars? Besides Christ, has there been anyone
in this world who has never made a single mistake in his or her life? Are our
sins the definitions of who we are?
I
was never perfect my whole life. Since the day I was born, I have been raised
in a world where there are a lot of sins, trials, destruction, famine, and
death. Also, I was raised in a family who is not perfect, but they have taught
me to be a good person because that is close to perfection. At least excellence
is. Instead of the phrase “Practice makes perfect,” it should be “Practice
makes excellence” because it means to overcome the obstacles by learning from
your mistakes and always seeking to do better than before. Have I ever made
mistakes before? Yes, I have. Do I feel good about them? No, I do not because
those mistakes have made me feel and look bad in front of a lot of people,
including those I love. As a result of those mistakes, I do not intend to
repeat them. One of the desires of my heart is to live like a good person,
someone who is very caring, compassionate, kind, funny and loving.
What
mistakes have I ever made? Well, I have made a lot that I do not even know
where to start, but does it matter what I have done? If I tell someone, I
wonder if he or she will still see me as they did before. Will they view me as
how the world views people or how Christ views people? He was the only person
who was perfect, but he never saw people as worthless for not being perfect. He
did not see the adulteress as worthless despite the fact that she committed a
very immoral act. He even challenged the people, including the Pharisees, to
throw stones at her if they never committed any sins. But instead, they only dropped
them to the ground. If someone were to challenge you to throw a stone at
someone like Josh Duggar, would you do it?
Everyone
has some good in them, even though it does not mean that they lead good lives
because there are robbers, murderers, prostitutes and drug dealers. What they
do is wrong, but does that give us the authority to determine what kind of
judgment they deserve? Is it our place to play God?
Gossip
may be good for some people, but not always. Most of the time, it is best to
just stay quiet and keep our own opinions of other people and their situations
to ourselves. No matter how serious the problem is that the person is facing,
it is best to mind our own businesses and let the right people handle it.
Whether it is a robbery or a murder situation, it is the police officers’
responsibility to make things better, which is to solve a crime and keep the
peace. If it is something that only a religious leader needs to know, we should
let it be this way. Let’s keep our noses away from someplace where they shouldn’t
be.
Judging
a person is like judging a book. The person’s outward appearance may be
disagreeable, scary or weird, which represents a book cover. But once someone
opens the book, he or she is about to read the person. An opportunity to get to
know the other person through one’s own experience will be more benefiting than
listening to what others will say. I do not assume that no one tells the truth
about the other person because there are people who will and share the
positives, which make good sources. However that answer to the question, “Who
is that?” depends on each and every one of us, those who individually seek the
answer. And once we do, we will find out the person’s inner beauty, the truest
form of all things.
So when writing a story
about someone, which is more important, the truth or the rumor?
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